I was scrummaging through my things and found my Hawaii Diary that had some very personal insights throughout my journey through my first backpack trip. It’s a bit late on the posting but it’s something that I want to share on carrieproject because it is a huge part in self progress I have went through and a part of my life I always want to remember and look back on. So here it is, two entries in my journal and a series of poloroid photo’s I have captured along the way. Enjoy the ride, always spreading the Aloha!
Go Your Own Way
I didn’t know what I was trying to figure out, if I was looking to find myself taking on this trip to Hawaii. All I really knew was that I needed this this trip. On my own. By myself. And it was the best thing I could of given myself. The time to be by myself and to really think.
Hawaii has been so beautiful to me where even writing about it brings happy tears to my eyes. The people, local and travellers, have really brought in a new perspective to my life. I feel so alive being surrounded by inspiring, adventurous, caring, brace people. Here at the hostels, I have met the most interesting people. People that have nothing, give their everything. Nothing is ever labelled as ‘mine’ because what is mine is yours. I learned about selflessness, appreciation, and a touch of humanity that I haven’t seen before. Back before I toke this trip, I was told I only cared about myself, and maybe I really was that way because I thought others will only in the end care about themselves more then others so as my way of protecting myself, I only choose to care about me. But I now see a whole part of life and I wish to bring that with me wherever I may be. I want to let go of this intense fear of being hurt by others and putting this one way wall down to only share love with others around me even if I may not receive it back. I want to trust in the circle of life, that what does around will come around. I have also learnt in life you can truly do anything you desire. That life is very limitless and anything is possible. By next year 2017, I will either be working abroad for a year or moved somewhere else in Canada, maybe Vancouver, to start living on my own.
On this land, time seems to disappear and I finally feel/understand what people mean by ‘island time’. When others ask ‘So, what are you doing in Kauai today?’ would say back automatically ‘Just chillin”. And that got me thinking, am I wasting my precious time here on Kauai just chilling instead of jam packing my days with activites and must go restaurants and such? But I realized that what I was doing wasn’t ‘just chillin”. I was doing what I want to do, when I want to do, where I want to do, and living exactly how I wanted to without any plans or obligations otherwise. ‘Just chillin” was actually me rejuvenating myself and fully embracing bring on this spiritual island on my own. And I loved every second of it.
Being in Oahu was a complete different experience from being in Kauai. Don’t get me wrong, I loved being in Oahu but Kauai was definitely something else. Something that I really needed. Being in Kauai, I experienced feelings I’ll never forget, learn things I’ll take back with me, and live life genuinely. I did a lot of thinking on this island but nothing was forced upon me. I felt that what I was searching for was found and the questions I had unconsciously been asking myself were answered. Everything just fell into place unexpectedly and I realized a lot of things by innocently starting a conversation with a stranger and leaving the conversation with a new outlook, a answer, a perspective I never would of saw. I feel as though every person I encountered throughout my trip was destined to happen – whether it was a good connection or a bad connection, I took a little something out of everything.
I hope to never forget what I have learnt and what I have found, what I have felt on my journey in Kauai. Because I know how easy it is to get caught up in life, when you forget the little things out there. I want to never forget the generosity I feel in humanity, the principle of sharing and caring for one another. Selflessness, that money is only temporarily but memories and living life are forever. I want to remember why I am here and the fire from my passion, my love to create, to never die out. I want to remember the feeling of fearlessness and vulnerability. I want to never forget how beautiful life is.